Has this happened to anyone else?
Because I am apparently in love with hurling my guts out and a lot of food either gives me heartburn, or even the thought of it makes me gag, I’m on a pretty bland and specific diet. I still need to get all of my nutrients, but I can’t just grill a steak and eat a salad, make Chicken Cacciatore, or nuke some chili. The thought of all of those foods gives me instant bitter beer face. So, we’ve officially begun foraging for ourselves in this household and there should be a division of food. Here’s what really happens:
I get enough yogurt, berries, granola, milk, bananas, grapes, certain veggies, a big variety of fish and seafood, tunafish sandwich supplies, etc… to last a week or two. I then proceed to eat everything I need to sustain myself and the littl’un for about 48 hours.
It’s heaven. Not puky. Not hungry. Awesome.
Then, after said 48 hours are up I open the fridge………………………………
Nothing………….
ALL OF MY FREAKING FOOD IS GONE………………..
A very specific diet that should sustain a woman eating for two for a one to two-week period has been consumed entirely by a.) A ghost that must have been buried in the ground beneath the foundation of this house since we’re the first people to ever live here or b.) Honey Bunny.
Whoever the preggo menu food thief is actually has a lot of other options to choose from. The fixin’s for the dishes I mentioned previously are all available including lots of leftover junk from the Superbowl, soup, PBJ stuff, bacon and other pork products, frozen beef, pork, chicken, turkey…… pasta, rice, cereal, pancake mix, frozen pizza, Lean Cuisines, other types of veggies that said preggo doesn’t want to eat, eggs, noodles, egg noodles! The list just goes on and on and on.
Is he/the hypothetical ghost getting sympathy cravings?! What is this?!
Either way, the consequences are exactly the same, Honey Bunny is driving to the store (after a very nicely worded explanation on the importance of his unborn child and me to have food to eat) to replace said mysteriously missing items. Obviously ghosts don’t have money right? As it turns out Honey Bunny doesn’t have much money either. Well at least not in his pocket. He just got back from the store to pick up his payment methods and is on his way back out. I may very well starve to death.
On another note. The cat was just eating ferns out of my Valentine’s Day bouquet and decided to puke them up on the carpet. I’m not really hungry anymore, so I suppose he didn’t need to refill my provisions after all.
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